Aries… Taurus… Gemini… CANCER
This last Spring life happened quickly. Much too quickly to write it down and tell you about it. For which I’m sorry — I so enjoy this baring of the soul. In short I’ve been very busy. During this season of silence, things have been going spookily how I’d hoped them to…in a real “CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR” kind of way. Who said that first I wonder? There’s a hint of magic... a puzzle that’s intrigued me to the point that I now totally concur — life is all about intention… i.e. be clear enough and it’s yours. I’m not the first person to think this — fortunes have been made on this notion.
I wake early when I’m in Woodstock, get out of bed and put the kettle on for tea… I love a ritual… Then I wander around each room looking out the window for animals… there’s invariably a rabbit on the lawn who, catching sight of me, freezes on the spot with that “If I stay very still you won’t see me” look that just isn’t working cause I have seen you. Sometimes I spy a creature altogether new - most recently a tortoise. My auntie Val has always had one in her marvelous, very english, garden and I somehow fancied it might just be her saying hello... particularly as she’d been on my mind and I was heading off only a few days later to visit her in Stoke-on-Trent.
Auntie Val is a home loving Cancerian… also my godmother and the confidant of my youth with whom I shared my fears and wonders.
We’re sitting always in her kitchen where she’s making a meal for her husband, who she adored, stews and curries… and, for me, a delicious breakfast of Staffordshire oatcakes with bacon and eggs and, I think I remember, some melted cheese on top.
Very warm, very kind… like living in a hug.
I’m in the front garden inspecting the tortoise who has a curiously long tail which I don’t recall in the English variety and decide to get my camera. Foraging for this apparatus in the kitchen cupboard I look out to see a big black bear roaming round the back fence… this is another first… my heart is racing… I grab the camera… the bear is disappearing round the front so I run through the house and out the front door to the woods and then suddenly envisage the headline … “IDIOT EATEN BY BEAR”…should have known better… and cease pursuit.
Turns out my tortoise is a snapping turtle — not to be meddled with as they’ll take your finger off. All of this animal activity was duly reported to my sister Philippa in Sydney, whose visits here are spent in avid pursuit of the wildlife. On her last trip she discovered a raccoon in a tree by the kitchen and this rather adorable salamander in the woods. We planted foxgloves… my current favorite along with the Hollyhock and the Lupin.
Just the other day I was standing in the garden and had the thought… “you are perfect… nothing needs to change here” — or more to the point — I don’t need to change anything here as I am happy with you the way you are. This was a revelation to me. Having been a freelancer all my working life, I’ve depended on a great deal of self-motivation... a feeling of needing to push to make things happen… needing to change to keep moving forward in order to survive.
I’m writing this on a delightfully uncrowded bus from Woodstock to Port Authority… drinking tea from my flask and nibbling my way thru the usual bag of nuts and seeds… ignoring the chopped sticks of celery I’ve carefully wrapped in a tea towel and should be eating. The bus is bumping along the highway — a rather soothing rythym. I’ve forgotten my glasses which means that I can’t read what I’m writing but I can just about see the letters on the keyboard. If I knew how to make the text size larger this problem would be solved— but I don’t— there are still so many things about my laptop I don’t know… I guess it doesn’t matter… it’ll all become clearer at some point.