“Endings and Beginnings”
I’d never thought much about the words “ending” and ”beginning”… till now… all of sudden focused in on these words… because I’m single again. I’m seeing they are almost the same thing — when doesn’t a beginning mean that something has ended? and vice versa?… the same action with different feelings? — a beginning all anticipation and an ending quite an assortment of possibilities… a certain sadness, a sense of completion.
I prefer a relationship to end well. My experience bears witness that it can go either way — lost in remorse and bitterness or grateful for what you’ve had. I’m trying to remain in the latter place. It helps that Dove and I are talking about this. But there’s nothing great when you first split with someone — it definitely hurts — an open wound moment. I know this feeling as well as I know it will pass… And after a while I find I rather enjoy being on my own — until I’m not again… it’s a funny cycle.
Dove is a Gemini — this is confusion in itself— perhaps for both the Gemini and for anyone engaged in a relationship with them [pls note use of the word “them”]. Often you just don't know where you stand because they are frequently changing their mind. Those awfully smart minds that consume information like air itself. Wonderful communicators — I’ve learnt a lot!
Right now I’m on the bus from Woodstock to the city — listening to Siouxsie and the Banshees — one of my emotional hide aways. It’s early on a Tuesday — grey skied with a little misty rain— very good for the plants I’m thinking to myself — having now taken to the garden with something of a passion… Opening the front door this morning I glimpsed a rabbit hopping across the lawn and just 10 feet away were two deer, mother and child, standing by the garden gate… both looking a bit guilty — they probably jumped straight over as soon as I left and are currently devouring all the much nurtured beauty within.
This has been my first spring upstate and I’ve experienced nature like never before — so voluptuous — abundant and forgiving — the sweet reminder of life's renewal. It makes me grateful for what is given… for the gifts Dove has shared… his kind heart and gentle soul… that very special way with animals… his free creative spirit… and a delightfully idiosyncratic style… happy birthday to you…
and Happy June.