FEELINGS NOT FACTS?
I’m sitting on the little deck in Woodstock, a customary cup of tea in hand. A strong sun beams down on me… All round the ground is melting. Murky pools of glistening water appear in place of this morning’s frosted ice. I hear the rush of the stream and the birds - some cars. There’s a smell of wood burning. It’s deliciously warm for a winters day. For a brief moment I am present to all of this… then bundled back again deep in my head… a tumbleweed of emotion.
I’ll try to be direct though its not in my emotional make up. Astrologically speaking, I have “Venus in Pisces”. This manifests as something of a tendency to fantasy in love. I’m reputedly capable of imaginary relationships with beings never met (and can attest to the truth of this)… a romantic who simultaneously thrives on, and suffers with, his idealism… I invent situations I want to exist and play them out, only to be disappointed when they fall inevitably far from perfection. In a nutshell — I expect too much… So today I’m attempting a reality check — a somewhat painful experience!
There’s been a lot of moving going on… last week my office (building) in Williamsburg was closed to become — yes, not surprisingly — “luxury condos”. A small portion of its contents moved to Prince St. in SoHo — the loft that’s been my studio and home for many years — now referred to as the “showroom”. The greater portion of the old office travelled to Woodstock — fast becoming a new live/work space. A large portion of the lofts contents also came upstate and finally, a lot of new furniture and samples arrived in Soho to complete “the Showroom”… plenty of change… a sure way to pry out ones emotional flaws.
Anyway — I've squished about 30 years of work into the garage up here. Not a process I want to repeat in a hurry… all that decision making — keep this and throw that out — no wait — put that back — uuuuuuummmmmmm I’ll decide later. I tried to be terribly organized about it all and though I’ve rather underestimated the shelving requirements in this garage, I’m all round thrilled that it costs about the same price as storage in the city — but with a house and garden attached… a bargain!
Now if i could only get rid of my storage in London as well…
Will this be its final resting place? What a thought!!! Next stop the rubbish dump? — it’s easy to imagine all these boxes slowly gathering dust in the rafters — never to be opened again. In Sydney last January, my friend Penny and I emptied a draw of old photos and stuff intending a thorough edit. Soon consumed with old memories, I was incapable of parting with anything.
Lots of letters and postcards from my teens and early twenties — I’d forgotten that we used to write so much — particularly when we travelled — we couldn't afford phone calls. I don't imagine that we’ll be keeping our texts and emails that long (and snapchat?) — which makes me sad — it’s wonderful to delve into the past now and then — there’s so much personality present in the just the handwriting. What will 40 years of Instagram look like?
Being alone in Woodstock is a challenge — I'm so used to city life… it reminds me of all those moments when I've made a significantmove somewhere — Paris, London, New York — not always knowing many people but just having a feeling that its right — always a bit uncomfortable at first — till I find my pattern of things — it’s slowly taking shape.
ps. hope you can join this evening for our presentation at The Future Perfect.
55 Great Jones, 6-8pm.