“A GREY AREA”
Two days ago, and very early in the morning, our flight emerged thru a mist of white cloud to reveal a very, very grey Sydney… not a sight I’m accustomed to at the beginning of January… more typically I cant stop squinting and have to keep my eyes closed against the glare of that Summer sun... in so great a contrast to the northern hemisphere I have only just left…
And it has persisted… 3days of constant rain with no sun in sight. Rather wonderful for the often drought ridden “Terre Australis”… a term I always lovedat school, rather made me think there’s something quite naughty lurking here...
But it's all looking so wrong to me right now.
I am not unfamiliar with grey, nor have anything against it… much of my life has been spent in the duller climes of the northern hemisphere — I’m very fond of that muted profile of New York City that greets you in transit from the airport and, of course, it’s only natural for London — a fog of Dickensian BBC drama masterpieces. But Sydney I see in shades of blue — quite bright blue — very “Brett Whitely harbor scene” in fact.
I’m not exactly disappointed — but I did have a particular expectation — a visual reference. In New York this is often the “Edward Hopper moment”. Beyond the bricks and mortar of his paintings is an essence of the city that time and change hasn't eradicated — possibly in the angle of the light or perhaps its the color palette… when I catch an “E.H. moment” in the street, I feel connected to history — the continuum.
When I was young, “History” was a high school subject — not something I felt part of. Inevitably I’ve reached an age where I can’t help but begin to see I’m a teensy bit player in the larger whole — to see mankind’s repeated patterns — and far enough down the line to be able to look back and witness my own patterns… I’ve spent the last decade garnering some idea of HOW I GOT HERE —the CONTEXT— why this happened, where, when and how. This I find consoling.
’m very into context — INFORMATION. That’s why I love astrology — it helps explain me, to me — and everyone else to me too… Logic might be helpful elsewhere, but there’s no straight lines to a personality — more the winding road that leads to a spiders web.
I used not to understand how I could be so shy at times and a total show off at others — why I loved to travel but was a total nester home body too? In the past I saw my character in terms of conflicts and contradictions — canceling each other out. Now I see varying aspects of the more complex WHOLE — to be plucked and plundered where appropriate. Like the slow climbing Capricorn goat — its taken a long long time to see this — a steady acquisition of wisdom…